Lucky Charms
by Night Kitsune
Summary: Chi-Chi is sick and tells Goku to get her medication at the West City Mall. And if a confused Saiyan lost in a mall isn't enough, Vegeta is stuck babysitting, and Cell returns to Earth! What chaos will ensue?
1. Help Me

A/N: As much as I wish I did, I don't own Dragonball Z or any of the characters. Though I might borrow Vegeta sometime.*wink* So please don't sue!  
  
Chapter 1 - Help Me  
  
"Goku." Chi-Chi moaned weakly. Goku was at her bedside in an instant.  
  
"Yes, Chi?" She looked pitiful. Her usually glowing cheeks were pallid and dark circles surrounded her eyes.  
  
"The doctor prescribed me an antibiotic. I need you to go and pick it up." Her voice was rough. All of her coughing had turned her throat raw.  
  
Goku kissed his wife on the forehead and smiled. "Sure. Where do I go?"  
  
Chi-Chi paused to cough. "Well, the only pharmacy I go to is in the West City Mall." She handed her husband a slip of paper. Goku peered down at the illegible scribbles. A perplexed look crossed his face. Chi-Chi read his mind and sighed. "Just go, Goku! The pharmacists will understand it!"  
  
He scratched his head nervously. "Whatever you say! But Chi.I've never been to a mall bef." Goku trailed off. Chi-Chi had drifted off to sleep. Geez, I guess I'll have to ask someone to show me where it is! he thought. At that, he gently brushed some stray hair away from his wife's lovely face and set off in search of anyone who might know where the mall is.  
  
****************  
  
Goku searched the area for a familiar ki. He found that the nearest was Vegeta's. He carefully considered what Vegeta's reaction would be if he asked for his help, but decided it was worth a try. Touching his fingers to his forehead, he was transported to Capsule Corporation.  
  
Goku knocked on the door several times before there was an answer. The door opened slowly to reveal a scowling Vegeta. "Kakarrott! What are you doing here?!"  
  
Goku grinned. "Hey Vegeta! I'm surprised you aren't training!"  
  
Vegeta's scowl deepened. "If you're here to spar Kakarrott, I'm afraid I'm.err." Vegeta paused. Bra's screeching could be heard clearly across the building. "Occupied." he sighed.  
  
"Daaaaaaddy!!!" she squealed again. Vegeta winced. This was not his day.  
  
Goku's grin widened. "The woman's not here." Vegeta explained.  
  
"Oh.does that mean you're.babysitting?!" Goku nearly doubled over with laughter.  
  
"Are you DONE yet, Kakarrott?!" Vegeta snarled. He had had as much as he was going to take from this moron.  
  
"I'm.I'm sorry.Vegeta." said Goku once he regained his composure. "Its just that.its kind of weird to think of you.babysitting! I mean, where are Bulma's mother and father?"  
  
Vegeta gritted his teeth. He was losing his patience. "Away.on.business." he ground out. "And it isn't exactly babysitting considering I'm the child's father.now, is it?! Now, was there a reason you came here, or are you just here to irritate me?!"  
  
It appeared as if a light bulb had come on above Goku's head. His eyes brightened. "Oh yeah! Well, I was going to ask you to show me where the West City Mall is! But.you seem kinda busy." Goku laughed nervously. "See, Chi-Chi's sick and I need to pick up her medicine there.only, I don't know where it is."  
  
Vegeta interrupted. "And you thought I would be a good Samaritan and hold your hand through a place teeming with humans to help you get your harpy's medicine, who coincidentally, despises me, and be seen with your baka ass in public?"  
  
Goku gaped. "Uh.well, when you put it that way." Before he could finish, the door slammed in his face. "Guess I'll have to find somebody else!"  
  
He searched out the next closest ki. "Great! Piccolo's nearby! Maybe he can help!" Goku exclaimed.  
  
Goku found Piccolo meditating in an open grassy field. Goku approached him and noticed that his eyes were closed. Just as he leaned in to poke him, Piccolo spoke. "Goku."  
  
Goku grinned. "Heya Piccolo!" Normally, Piccolo would have been annoyed that his meditation had been disturbed, but this was Goku, and if Goku had come to him for something, it must be important.  
  
"What do you mean?!? Going to the mall will be fun!" Goku declared.  
  
Piccolo straightened and crossed his arms. "I doubt that. What do you need to go to the mall for anyway?"  
  
"Chi-Chi's really sick, and her medicine is at a pharmacy in the mall!" Piccolo grunted in reply. Goku pulled out the crumpled piece of paper Chi- Chi had given him. "Pleeeeease Piccolo? I don't even know where the mall is!"  
  
When Piccolo tried to reply, it was not his normally low voice that answered. In fact, it wasn't Piccolo's answer at all. "Sure! I'd love to help, Goku!"  
  
Goku was overjoyed at the answer. He hadn't even noticed it didn't sound at all like Piccolo. "Thanks a lot Piccolo! You're the greatest!" Piccolo looked bewildered. He hadn't said that, yet it came out of his mouth!  
  
"But.wait! I never said that!" Piccolo snapped. Goku was happy and oblivious.  
  
"Yes you did." the voice whispered, and then laughed. Suddenly, Piccolo realized the source of the trouble.  
  
"Nail?!? What are you doing?!"  
  
Nail replied haughtily, "I want to go to the mall, okay?!"  
  
Goku looked up. "Anxious, huh? Then lets get going!" Goku flew into the air, and paused. "You coming?" He grinned. Piccolo seethed. How dare Nail try to control his actions! It didn't matter now. If he told Goku no, there was no doubt Goku would pout and whine like an upset child. Piccolo straightened his cape, sighed, and flew off in the direction of the West City Mall. 


	2. Tea Party

Chapter 2 - Tea Party  
  
Deep in the pits of HFIL, a dark figure loomed over Cell. "Do you understand why you are being given this opportunity?" the massive figure growled.  
  
"For good behavior, sir!" Cell answered promptly.  
  
"That's right." the figure hissed. "Now. You must understand the conditions. Since your good behavior here qualifies you, you may return to Earth for 24 hours. However, if you are to." Whatever it was paused to take a breath. "Kill, injure, torture, maim, or cause destruction of any kind upon your return, you will be immediately sent back here and automatically disqualified from all fighting tournaments held in HFIL. Do I make myself clear?"  
  
Cell scowled. "What do you mean no destruction?! That's no fun! What am I supposed to do up there anyway?! This is so lame!"  
  
The large figure sighed. "Well, if you don't wish to leave, Frieza's the second most qualified.and I'm sure he could cause way more chaos without breaking the rules than you ever could."  
  
Cell looked appalled. "As if Frieza were up to my standards! Ha! Don't make me laugh! If you want chaos, I'll give you chaos!"  
  
The figure looked up. "So you are going? Very well then. You have 24 hours, enjoy them while they last." Having said that, the figure transported Cell back to Earth.  
  
***********************************  
  
Meanwhile, Vegeta catered to his daughter's every wish. Bra had already forced him to play "house" as she called it, and a board game called "Candyland" which she beat him at three times. Finally, Vegeta was taking a break while Bra napped.  
  
Kami! She's tougher to please than the woman! I don't know how much more of this I can take.  
  
"Paaaaaapaaaa!" Bra called.  
  
That nap didn't even last half an hour! Vegeta thought.  
  
"Coming, princess!" he yelled hastily. He entered Bra's room to find the floor strewn with stuffed animals and dolls. A small table beside her bed was set with pink plastic cups and dishes.  
  
"Hi Daddy! I'm done napping now! Wanna play tea party?" Bra smiled sweetly. Vegeta considered his options carefully. This game sounded more dignified than "house". And if he said no, she would throw a royal fit, quite literally.  
  
"Yes, princess" he grumbled.  
  
"Okay!" Bra chirped. She pulled a small plastic gold crown from her toy box and placed it on her head. "I'll be the princess and you can be the prince, 'kay?"  
  
A small smile crossed Vegeta's lips. "Easy enough."  
  
Bra pulled the table to the center of her room and arranged her stuffed animals and Barbies around it. She seated herself, and motioned for Vegeta to sit opposite her. Vegeta was quite impressed by his little girl's regal mannerisms. He sat on the floor, and Bra poured imaginary tea into a teacup and placed it before her father. She proceeded to pour the imaginary tea into the teacups set before her Barbies and stuffed animals.  
  
Vegeta raised his cup to his mouth and pretended to drink to humor Bra. She giggled.  
  
"Lovely day, isn't it? Would you like more tea, prince?" She motioned to pour more pretend tea into his teacup.  
  
"Thank you, sweetheart." Words could not express how much he adored his daughter, even if she was as demanding as her mother. Suddenly, his acute sense of hearing detected laughter right outside of Bra's room. He growled.  
  
Outside of Bra's room, two teenage half-Saiyans tried desperately to stifle their laughter.  
  
"Geez Trunks! That's one thing I never thought I'd see your dad doing!"  
  
Trunks elbowed Goten. "Quiet! Do you want him to hear you?! Listen Goten, we've gotta find a camera." he was interrupted by a bellow.  
  
"BRATS!" The boys looked at each other and gulped. They stepped out of their hiding place and into Bra's room. Vegeta was giving them his most intimidating death glare.  
  
Bra grinned. "Goten! Trunks! Yay!" She ran up and gave her brother and Goten a hug. She kissed Goten on the cheek, and he blushed.  
  
Trunks grinned at Vegeta. "You sure looked like you were having fun, dad."  
  
Vegeta growled. How dare that insolent brat ridicule him?! Then Vegeta smirked.an evil, fear-inspiring smirk. "Oh, we are. Perhaps you two would like to join us?"  
  
Bra looked ecstatic. "Yeah! Yeah!" She shoved some of her toys out of the way to make room at the miniature table. Bra sat down and motioned next to her. "Here Goten, you can sit next to me!" Goten and Trunks exchanged frightened expressions. This would be a long day. 


	3. Freak Show

A/N: Wow! Thanks to all my reviewers! I luv you guys! And thanks to my muse, Okura, this fic wouldn't exist without you!  
  
Frieza: You forgot to mention this is a challenge fic.  
  
Night Kitsune: Oh yeah! My muse, Okura gave me ten requirements to fulfill in this fic. I'm adding a prologue listing the ten requirements. Heh, thanks for reminding me!  
  
Frieza: -_- And I thought monkeys were stupid. On with Chapter Three.  
  
Chapter 3 - Freak Show  
  
"Come on, Piccolo!" Goku pleaded with the stubborn Namek. "I promise it won't take long! We'll just go get the medicine and leave!"  
  
Piccolo grunted. "There is no way I'm going in there!"  
  
Goku pouted. "Pleeeeease? I don't want to go in there all by myself!" Piccolo was tempted to tell him that for being the strongest man in the universe he sure was a wuss, but his counterpart piped up.  
  
"Sure, no problem, Goku." Nail's voice answered. Piccolo's eyes bulged.  
  
"Gee, thanks Piccolo!" Goku replied triumphantly. He then proceeded to give Piccolo a hug.  
  
"Go.ku.I.never.said that!" Piccolo managed to choke out. Goku was once again happily oblivious. And with that, Goku grabbed Piccolo's arm and skipped through the parking lot.  
  
Once inside, Piccolo and Goku discovered the mall was an interesting and immense place. It was full of different types of people, different types of store displays, and to Goku's delight, different types of scents. Among them was the smell of food. His stomach growled. In fact, the rumbling was so loud, people walking by looked up in surprise. There were already a number of people staring at the sight of the large green man in a cape and turban. Piccolo sneered.  
  
"Come on, Goku! Lets get the damn medicine and get out of here!"  
  
Goku and Piccolo slowly waded through the crowds, but the pharmacy was nowhere in sight. Suddenly, Goku noticed a dark figure beckoning to him. He looked around him and pointed to himself. The figure nodded.  
  
"Hey Piccolo! Do you think that's the pharmacy?" Goku motioned to the store the figure disappeared into.  
  
"Hmph, I doubt it." He was cut off by Nail again. "I guess it's worth a try!"  
  
"Okay!" Goku was quick to get to the entrance, but Piccolo hesitated.  
  
"I don't think this is a good idea at all." he said as he gazed at the dark, ominous entrance.  
  
As Goku crossed the threshold into the store, an odd looking girl with green spiked hair and a pierced nose jumped out at him.  
  
"You win!" she announced. Goku was both perplexed and frightened at the same time.  
  
"I win? But I wasn't even competing!" Behind him, Piccolo growled.  
  
"Don't trust her, Goku! I have a bad feeling about all this!"  
  
The girl put a hand on her hip. "Is that so? Well, I think you have some potential as well, you have a lovely skin tone." Piccolo gulped. "Okay. I'll work with him," She pointed to Goku. "And I'll have Trent work with you!"  
  
"Wha.what are you going to do to us?" Goku stammered. A tall male in his early twenties with shockingly light blue eyes appeared behind the girl.  
  
"This is a brand new store that caters to the goth, punk, and rave lifestyles. You guys are our very first visitors! So you win free makeovers!"  
  
Goku fidgeted. "Makeovers? Um, I dunno, I'm just here to pick up some medicine for my wife."  
  
The girl with green hair carefully examined a tube of white makeup. "Hmm. We won't need this. Huh? Oh, we won't take too long! We just need to get the word out about our store! You guys will be like, our walking advertisements! Please?"  
  
This time, Nail spoke up before Goku could. "Sure! We'd love to help!" Goku looked shocked. However, Piccolo looked furious.  
  
"Will you shut up?! Kami, I can't believe I ever fused with you! Quit trying to make decisions for both of us!"  
  
Nail laughed. "You can't make me! And you know what? I'm sick and tired of everyone calling us Piccolo! I'm Nail!"  
  
Piccolo snarled. The light blue-eyed guy called Trent looked delighted.  
  
"Dude! The green guy's a schizophrenic! Awesome!"  
  
Goku blinked. "Nail? The other Namek you fused with?  
  
The green-haired girl looked confused. "Namek? Is that some sort of code word? Are you guys in the CIA?!"  
  
Goku shook his head. "I guess we can help you out." Before he could finish his sentence, the girl pushed him down into a chair and pulled some makeup, leather, and a long chain.  
  
Trent scrutinized Piccolo. "I don't want to do too much, but." he paused and grabbed Piccolo's hand. "Your nails are so long! They're perfect!" Trent grabbed some nail polish from off the counter. "Lets get to work!" 


	4. Prologue

My Requirements  
  
The fic must include the following:  
  
Swedish Fish (the gummi candy)  
  
Powerpuff Girls underwear  
  
A verbal comparison of one of the characters to Homer Simpson  
  
Piccolo having an argument with his counterpart Nail in a public place  
  
A leprechaun appearance  
  
Bra having a tea party with her Barbies and Vegeta  
  
Goku dressed up as a freak for at least half the fic  
  
At least one person who dies from over consumption of Fritos  
  
A demonstration of Captain Ginyu's "Dance of Joy"  
  
It must be a song fic to the song "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel 


	5. Lucky

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z, or Powerpuff Girls, or Lucky Charms (the cereal and the character Lucky). But I do own this fic!  
  
A/N: I hope you like this chapter. If Cell is a little OOC, its because I've never seen the Cell saga. But, it is a humor fic, so that can be expected.  
  
Chapter 4 - Lucky  
  
When Cell appeared on Earth, he found himself right outside the Kame House. It was then that he sensed a familiar energy. One that could be none other than Gohan's. Cell laughed.  
  
"Now I will destroy that boy! And his friends! And his planet!"  
  
"Aye, laddie, you won't be destroyin' nothin'!" a small voice piped up. Cell looked down to see a tiny man no bigger than his index finger with a shamrock hat and dressed completely in green.  
  
Cell frowned. "Who the hell are you?"  
  
"I was sent to keep me eye on you!" the creature said in a thick Irish accent. "Ya don't think anyone in HFIL would even think of leavin' you alone on Earth unattended?!"  
  
Cell growled. "Great. A dwarf babysitter."  
  
"I'm no dwarf, ya great buffoon! I'm a leprechaun!"  
  
Cell snarled. He had planned to have fun, even if it came at the cost of being disqualified from the HFIL tournaments.  
  
"I don't suppose you're going to follow me around the entire 24 hours I'm stuck here?"  
  
The leprechaun grinned. "You can call me Lucky."  
  
Cell smirked and picked the elven creature up. "Heh, I got Lucky!"  
  
Lucky struggled to free himself. "Set me down, ya great hentai!"  
  
Cell set Lucky back on the ground. He glanced over at the Kame House. "Who says I can't just destroy you with the Earth's inhabitants?"  
  
Lucky grinned and unsheathed a glitter covered shamrock wand. He took careful aim at Cell and yelled "Clover!" Cell was immediately struck by lightning emitted from the wand. And as much as Cell hated to admit it to himself, it hurt. He lay sprawled out on the ground in complete shock.  
  
Suddenly, Gohan, Yamcha, Krillin, and the Turtle Hermit emerged from the Kame House, hearing the blast. Everyone gasped at the sight of the fallen Cell and the grinning leprechaun before them. Gohan took a fighting stance.  
  
"Its Cell! He's back!"  
  
Lucky smiled good-naturedly. "No worries laddies, my wand makes'm as harmless as a newborn kitten!"  
  
Everyone continued to stare at the motionless Cell. Finally, with much effort, Cell lifted his head. "I resent that" he groaned shortly before passing out.  
  
At the mall, Trent took a step back to admire his work. Piccolo's claws were decked out in black and crimson polish. To complete the look, he added a pair of black fingerless gloves. Trent nodded in approval.  
  
"Cookie! Take a look at this!" he announced, motioning to Piccolo.  
  
Cookie, formally known to Goku and Piccolo as the green-haired girl, grinned. "Wait until you see what I did to mine!" Piccolo sweat dropped. What had she done to the naïve Saiyan?  
  
In a nearby dressing room, the lock unbolted and the door slowly opened. Out from the shadows stepped a leather and black mesh clad Goku. His eyes were rimmed with thick black eyeliner. He was adorned with countless chains around his wrists and wore a spiked collar on his neck. His short fingernails had been painted black.  
  
Cookie sighed. "Such an improvement! But he wouldn't let me near him to pierce his eyebrow."  
  
Goku motioned to his left bicep. "Hey Piccolo! Check this out! It's Shenlong!" And there, tattooed onto Goku's pale flesh was a green dragon with brilliant red eyes. "Neat, huh?"  
  
Piccolo looked as though he might have a heart attack. "Goku! You got a tattoo?!"  
  
Goku's eyes widened. "No way! I hate needles! This is just a fake one! You think it'll make Chi-Chi mad?"  
  
Cookie grabbed a black bandanna and tied it around Goku's head. Piccolo took in the image of Goku's tight black muscle shirt, leather pants, clunky boots, and the assorted jewelry and makeup he wore again.  
  
"Goku", Piccolo narrowed his eyes. "I think that's the least of your problems right now. We still need to get the medicine."  
  
"Oh no! I forgot! I hope she's alright! Come on, Piccolo! Lets go!"  
  
Cookie and Trent handed the two warriors shopping bags. Goku looked into his bag. Along with his training gi and boots he found what looked like.panties?  
  
"Hey! What's this?" he asked, holding up underwear with various pictures of a little girl with yellow ponytails, a blue dress, and big blue eyes.  
  
Trent looked up. "Powerpuff Girls underwear! Free with every purchase!"  
  
Piccolo scowled. "But we didn't purchase anything."  
  
Cookie shrugged. "Oh well. Enjoy!"  
  
Goku waved goodbye and Piccolo grabbed his arm and dragged him from the store. "I hope you're happy now" grumbled Piccolo.  
  
Goku chuckled. "Who? Me or Nail?"  
  
Piccolo didn't answer. It was all he could do to keep from using a Special Beam Cannon to destroy the mall. And he still didn't know what he was going to do with Powerpuff Girls underwear. 


	6. Books and Booze

Lucky Charms – Chapter 5  
  
A/N: Wow, it's been a while since I've gotten around to updating! Gomen! I've been low on inspiration lately, and my senior year of high school is really taking its toll on me. I promise to work on the next chapter over my break though! And Merry Christmas! You might have noticed the ratings change. This is due to some added content to the story that includes drinking.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Dragonball Z or Burger King.  
  
*************************  
  
It's amazing...Gohan thought as he dragged the now semi-conscious body of Cell into the Kame House. The very monster I killed years ago I'm dragging into Master Roshi's house! Gohan actually sort of pitied him. Cell was currently growling and mumbling what sounded like threats but weren't quite coherent enough to be scary.  
  
The Turtle Hermit led everyone inside. He turned to Lucky. "Please, make yourself at home!"  
  
Lucky looked around. Big recliner, some couches, a large pile of magazines, and...he paused. Was that...beer? "If you'll excuse me Mr. Kame-sennin sir, might I have a drink?"  
  
Master Roshi grinned. "Sure!" He went to the refrigerator and emerged with a can of beer. "Unless you wanted something else. We've got scotch, vodka, bourbon, whiskey, gin..." Roshi rambled on.  
  
Yamcha laughed. "Yeah! This can be a party!"  
  
Lucky smiled. "Ah, indeed! Beer is fine. But do ya think I might have a smaller cup?"  
  
Roshi reentered the living room with a tiny cup used for measuring medicine, which was filled with beer.  
  
Soon everyone was sitting down and enjoying themselves, that is, with the exception of a rambling Cell. He was now fairly coherent, but still considerably weak.  
  
"You bastards will pay for this! I mean it!"  
  
Lucky scowled. "You're grating on me nerves, laddie!" He pointed his shamrock wand at Cell again.  
  
Master Roshi interrupted. "Wait! What if instead we just try to calm him down?"  
  
Krillin nodded in agreement. "Yeah, plus it isn't exactly fair to kick him while he's down."  
  
Lucky crossed his arms. "And how do you propose we 'calm him down', eh?"  
  
Roshi looked at the bottle of vodka sitting on the counter and then back at Cell. "Boys, I think I have an idea..."  
  
**********************  
  
Piccolo glared at everyone they passed. I wish those idiots would just stop staring! He looked to Goku. Goku appeared not to notice. He seemed intent on something now. Hn. Well at least now he's focused enough to get the medicine.  
  
Goku stopped and sniffed. "Come on, Piccolo! This way!" He tugged at his Namekian friend's arm.  
  
Piccolo gave Goku a strange look. He can smell medicine?!  
  
Goku stopped again, this time so suddenly that Piccolo walked into him. "We're here!"  
  
Piccolo growled. "No. We're in a food court."  
  
Goku proceeded on, his eyes glazed over. Piccolo leaped in front of him, blocking his path to Burger King and glared. "No, Goku. We're getting the medicine and leaving."  
  
Goku pouted. "But Piccolo! I'm soooo hungry!"  
  
Piccolo gritted his teeth. "That's fine, Goku. You go get some food." Piccolo blinked. "Wait a second! That was Na..."  
  
Goku looked overjoyed. "Okay Piccolo! I won't be long!" He then hustled towards Burger King again.  
  
Piccolo stood there and crossed his arms. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?!"  
  
"The book store! Lets go to the book store!" Nail exclaimed.  
  
Piccolo scowled. "Whatever."  
  
He then made his way toward the bookstore. Once there, he looked around. It was full of thick novels, glossy magazines, and other strange assorted items. A friendly looking middle-aged man greeted him.  
  
"May I help you, sir?"  
  
Piccolo grunted. "I'm looking for books."  
  
The salesman chuckled. "Well then, was there any particular type of book you are looking for?"  
  
Piccolo thought about it a moment. "Books about saving the world."  
  
The salesman raised his eyebrows. "Oh, in that case, we have a large selection of history books."  
  
Piccolo narrowed his eyes. "Books about the history of the Earth? Show me."  
  
He followed the salesman to the shelves and shelves of history books. The salesman smiled timidly. "We have the largest selection in the area."  
  
Piccolo grunted. The salesman smirked inwardly. "If you need any help, I'll be at the register."  
  
Piccolo looked down at the bottom shelf. A bright green book caught his eye. He picked it up and looked at the cover: The Pop Cultural History of the World.  
  
**********************  
  
A/N: It seems Piccolo has acquired a sudden interest in history while Goku devastates the food court. And what does Master Roshi have in store for Cell? The answer will be revealed in Chapter 6! And please, please review, I love feedback! 


	7. We Didn't Start the Fire

Lucky Charms – Chapter 6  
  
A/N: First of all, thank you to everyone who has reviewed. I know my updates aren't exactly what you'd call frequent. I'm at a highly stressful time in my life and writing is definitely helping. Hope you all enjoy Chapter 6. Don't forget to review   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fritos, Dragonball Z, or Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire".  
  
A loud belch erupted from inside the Kame House. Master Roshi poured Cell some more gin.  
  
Cell grinned. "You guys..." he paused to hiccup, "are really great. I'm sorry for trying to kill you."  
  
"Aww...nah, man, it's nothin'...no...harm done." Yamcha drawled.  
  
Gohan raised an eyebrow. Everyone in the house, with the exception of himself, was more than a little bit tipsy. He never had liked alcohol and preferred to be the designated driver...but in most cases, he was the designated flyer.  
  
Krillin slung back another beer. "You know what would be great? An eating contest."  
  
Lucky threw his shamrock hat up and shouted in approval...until he realized that due to his size, he would be the first to lose the competition. "Err...I'll be the judge!"  
  
Gohan smiled half-heartedly. Being half Saiyan, he could easily win the contest no sweat. However, he didn't exactly pride himself on being a living garbage disposal either. "Heh, I'll be the second judge!" No one argued with that. "But first, some ground rules. Number one, the foods you will all be eating are Fritos. Number two, no hindering another's progress in any way. Number three, the set time will be thirty minutes. You will begin when I say 'Go'. Gohan paused. "Oh yeah, number four, no absorbing."  
  
Cell cursed loudly. Gohan looked around quickly before grabbing a bag of candy off the table. "The winner of the contest receives these...err...Swedish Fish!" The contestants ohhhed and ahhed. "Alright" he checked one last time to make sure everyone had equal numbers of Frito bags. "Go!"  
  
And the great eating contest began.  
  
Piccolo flipped through the brightly colored book. Strange words and names were repeated throughout it. Marilyn Monroe? Einstein? Who were these people? All of this information was so new and fascinating. The more he read, the more enthralled the Namek became. He decided to start reading from the beginning of the book, the year 1949...  
  
Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Johnnie Ray, South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe Dimaggio,  
  
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon, Studebaker, Television, North Korea, South Korea, Marilyn Monroe,  
  
Rosenbergs, H-Bomb, Sugar Ray, Panmunjom, Brando, The King and I and The Catcher in the Rye  
  
Eisenhower, Vaccine, England's got a new Queen, Marciano, Liberace, Santayana good-bye.  
  
We didn't start the fire It was always burning, Since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire Well we didn't light it, But we tried to fight it.  
  
Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist bloc,  
  
Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Tosconini, Dacron, Dien Bien Phu falls, Rock Around the Clock,  
  
Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team, Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland  
  
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev, Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez,  
  
We didn't start the fire It was always burning, Since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire Well we didn't light it, But we tried to fight it.  
  
Little Rock, Pasternak, Mickey Mantle, Kerouac, Sputnik, Chou En-Lai, Bridge on the River Kwai,  
  
Lebanon, Charles de Gaulle, California baseball, Starkweather homicide, Children of Thalidomide,  
  
Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, Space Monkey, Mafia, Hula Hoops, Castro, Edsel is a no go,  
  
U-2, Syngman Rhee, Payola, and Kennedy, Chubby Checker, Psycho, Belgians in the Congo.  
  
We didn't start the fire It was always burning, Since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire Well we didn't light it, But we tried to fight it.  
  
Hemingway, Eichmann, Stranger in a Strange Land, Dylan, Berlin, Bay of Pigs Invasion,  
  
Lawrence of Arabia, British Beatlemania, Ole Miss, John Glenn, Liston Beats Patterson,  
  
Pope Paul, Malcolm X, British politician sex, JFK blown away, What else do I have to say?  
  
We didn't start the fire It was always burning, Since the world's been turning, We didn't start the fire Well we didn't light it, But we tried to fight it.  
  
Birth control, Ho Chi-Minh, Richard Nixon back again, Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, Punk Rock, Begin, Reagan, Palestine, Terror on the airlines Ayatollahs in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan, Wheel of Fortune, Sally Ride, Heavy Metal, Suicide, Foreign debts, Homeless Vets, AIDS, Crack, Bernie Goetz,  
  
Hypodermics on the shore, China's Under Martial Law, Rock and Roller Cola Wars, I can't take it anymore!  
  
We didn't start the fire It was always burning, Since the world's been turning. We didn't start the fire But when we are gone It will still burn on and on and on and on...  
  
Thoroughly impressed, Piccolo placed the book back on its shelf. It was a good thing he could speed-read, because he had no sort of currency with which to pay for the book anyway. He left the store in search of Goku, and was shocked by the sight that greeted him.  
  
The mob of very angry, not to mention, very hungry people pushed closer and closer to Goku. He apologized nervously. "I'm really sorry! I was just so hungry! I didn't mean to eat all the food in the food court!"  
  
A woman with blonde curly hair pointed an accusing finger at him. "He ate my child's kid's meal!" A screaming little boy next to her only served as further evidence.  
  
Goku bit his lip before his eyes suddenly brightened. He reached for something in one of the empty bags he was holding and withdrew it, holding it out to the little boy. "Oh! I know! Here's the free toy!"  
  
The little boy only screamed louder. An older man raised his fist in the air and shook it. "This freak has eaten all of our food! I say we eat him!" And the crowd looked just hungry enough to do it...when suddenly, the "freak" put two fingers to his forehead and disappeared.  
  
Goku grabbed the stunned Piccolo's arm and I.T.ed again to the other side of the mall. "Wow! That was a close one!" He reached to scratch the back of his head.  
  
Piccolo growled. "You ate ALL of the food in the FOOD COURT?!"  
  
Goku put a finger to his black lips. "Shh! They'll hear you! Besides, I didn't mean t..." He was cut off because of what he saw before him. A glowing sign above a clean looking store that read West City Pharmacy. "Piccolo! This is it!" He pointed.  
  
Piccolo smirked and pulled Goku in the store by one of the chains around his neck. They approached the pharmaceutical counter. A friendly looking older man greeted them. "May I help you?"  
  
Goku reached into the shopping bag holding his clothes and pulled out the crumpled prescription. He handed it to the man who put on a pair of glasses to take a closer look at it. The man nodded. "It'll be a minute." He then went to find the medicine.  
  
Piccolo scowled. "I cannot WAIT to get out of this place!"  
  
Goku grinned sheepishly. "Ah, come on" he nudged Piccolo playfully. "It's been kinda fun! I mean, someday, we'll look back on this whole day and laugh!"  
  
Piccolo narrowed his eyes. "Ha. Ha."  
  
Just then, the pharmacist returned and handed Goku a little bag holding the prescribed medication in a plastic container. "You can pay at the front counter."  
  
Goku smiled and was led by Piccolo to the counter at the front of the store. The Saiyan dug through the bag containing his training gi for a minute before blinking in realization. "...I don't have any money!"  
  
The world came to a sudden halt as Goku's denseness hit an ultimate low.  
  
To Be Continued... 


End file.
